I don’t live in a particularly exciting city where there are tons of things to do, I don’t have any friends where I live, and moving right now is not really an option, not for another year at least. I’m so scared of how much I will ache if I just end this, but I just know I am going to keep getting hurt over and over again because he is never going to be the husband I need. We have certainly discussed walking away from it all and he wants us to remain friends, but I just can’t do that. I will need to completely disconnect, pretend he doesn’t exist – this is the only way I’ll be able to get over him and move on. I’m absolutely terrified, but even as I’m writing this I know this is what needs to be done, I just don’t have the balls to do it.
But now, since the storm is over, I am taking care of myself, doing the things I love and trying to get my confidence back
Rachel… but you are already alone. What are you afraid of? I know it must be hard for you.. but honestly, from a stranger’s perspective, you are just feeding up an illusion. Blessings!
I didn’t understand, how can someone that “loves” you would leave you in the dark about important things
This was similar to a relationship I had we wasn’t married but everything else that you’ve said was the same I was just hanging on and on for some eventual change but eventually we were meant to meet and he cancelled and I thought enough is enough and never contacted him again It’s been years now … I only contacted him with a short text when his father died He isn’t in another relationship I am … they haven’t got it in them to give you what you want or need full time Walk away there is a whole life out there for you FULL TIME !! ?? x
Reading everyone’s stories really helps me. It makes me realize that I am not the crazy one. I wasn’t losing my mind. Well I was, because I wasn’t understand how my ex-boyfriend was treating me. I’ve been dating him for 8 months. It was a emotional roller coaster.. He has BPD. Well, that’s what he told me. I think he’s more a narcissist then anything else. But I will never know. And don’t think I have the need to know. I broke up on the 30th of march. I’m finally no contact with him. Just a smal text message from him, it would make me nervous, I would be trembling and not understand his point of view at all. He would never express his feelings and emotions to me. His communication skills with me were shit. All I wanted was to help him, understand him what he was going through.. but, it was impossible, because he wouldn’t open up to me. 
I’m a kind, generous giving person. I care so so much about others. That’s why it was so hard for me to leave him. I was focusing on his feelings first, I wasn’t at all thinking about me. Because he really made me feel powerless and small. He had so much control over me, that at the time I didn’t notice it. Anyways, it really helps a lot to read about other people’s stories. Like I said, I feel less alone. I’m I. Therapy now, it really helps. But like I said, I’m not focusing on understanding him anymore. I’m confusing on myself. Taking care of me. Hope everyone here are in a safe place. In your minds and in your life right now. I know I wasnt.. but now, I am! Stay strong, be positive and things will get better with time. I’ve been told that in the beginning after I broke up. I didn’t believe my friends when they told me that… now I thank them! Because, they were right! Stay strong you guys!! ??