Expanding up, I started to focus on the differences when considering Italy and you may Kosovo in terms of information lives, specifically about it material. You will find a term having for ages been employed by Albanian individuals and i also both nonetheless hear. Whenever a son becomes partnered, the parents and you may household members say, “I married him.” That will not make sense conceptually, one to chooses to marry and you can can it. It’s not the remainder whom pick you.
I wanted understand like that away from determining things, and so i made a decision to read Lek Dukagjini’s “Kanun.” Within text message, Perhaps I discovered a reply. Within the content, it claims that everybody works together with relationship except for the couple. For this reason it makes sense to state that “we partnered your.” As the at that time, all ilies alarmed. The happy couple failed to care for some thing, sometimes they failed to even choose or particularly each other.
Times possess altered and also you never hear about instances such as those any longer – at the least, I really hope maybe not. However, an excellent germ of that mentality features stayed. The pressure exerted because of the family relations and family members criteria you and leads you to definitely build such a choice.
Just what features stayed widespread ‘s the thought of “giving” or “taking” a woman. Even today, lady nevertheless pay attention to off their family members that it is ideal for them to discover ways to create specific factors home, since when it exit because of their husbands they’ll not need to look bad. Things like washing the domestic, food preparation, helping caj (tea) and the like.
The concept that the girl ‘s the target of the kid is still there. A thing that a dad decides to provide or perhaps not. That is what guides of numerous locate hitched once a primary time of knowing each other, since it commonly happens that a girl’s father appears and you may informs new child to decide what you should do – marry otherwise prevent – once the their daughter is not a model.
The female intercourse has been recognized as an item
Growing upwards, In addition pointed out that the stereotypes whereby Europeans was indeed described and applied to all of us. Someone started divorcing, luckily for us. We point out that since the I think of the lifetime of a female, offered in marriage and maybe even hitched by the her own often, locked-up in the home by the stereotypical Albanian boy, just who prevents you from going out and you can starting regular societal items. We think which woman picking out the courage – as a result of a more unlock society – to exit you to definitely home and you can return to freedom.
The thought of split up nearly did not occur for all of us, as ladies failed to challenge to leave the person they hitched. However, I came across that our people supply partners, which our anybody including marry private obtain. Simply speaking, that individuals aren’t a lot better than anyone else. We’re not prime in addition to “others” are not new demon.
I’m sure if I get married an enthusiastic Albanian girl, that which you might be marvelous.
Along with having been fortunate enough to enhance up in the a developed nation like Italy, having been in a hookup numbers near me El Paso position to study rather than with must live from combat, We have the massive fortune having a few mothers that never forced me to feel this kind of tension. But Personally i think it anyway, for the reason that it care was born in my personal head a long time ago.
Basically get married in order to a non-Albanian lady, how tend to my parents rise above the crowd? Exactly how am i going to qualify? Who will arrived at my house as a guest in the event that my spouse doesn’t speak Albanian? Have a tendency to she actually ever visit Kosovo? Exactly how will we label our kids? Tend to our kids talk Albanian?