Need a diagnosis?

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Δημοσιεύτηκε στις Σάββατο, 08 Φεβρουαρίου 2014 11:45

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(A man brings his minivan in to our shop for a suspected power steering leak. He is not sure exactly what?s leaking, but he saw a lot of red fluid underneath his car. After the mechanic finds the leak I call the customer.)

Me: ?We found that one of the hoses was starting to crack at a bend. The dealer is the only one that has this part available in town. The part is $185, the labour for replacing the hose is rated at an hour which is $110, the diagnosis time is $49, taxes etc. will bring the total repair to $368.00.?

Customer: ?I understand the part and the labour costs, but I don?t necessarily see the need for a diagnosis. Couldn?t you have found out what was leaking without diagnosing it? That?s $50 for nothing, really.?

Me: ?Well? we could replace all the power steering parts for about $2500, or we could find out exactly what is leaking and just fix that. What would you prefer??

(He opted for the $368.00 repair that included a ?$50 for nothing, really? diagnosis.)

Not the sharpest knife

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Δημοσιεύτηκε στις Σάββατο, 08 Φεβρουαρίου 2014 12:05

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Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

LLIBook

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Δημοσιεύτηκε στις Σάββατο, 08 Φεβρουαρίου 2014 18:22

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Here's an extract from the book titled as above:

• When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
• Resist giving advice concerning matrimony, finances, or hairstyles.
• Have impeccable manners.
• Never pay for work before it's completed.
• Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person,
• See problems as opportunities for growth and self-mastery.
• Don't believe people when they ask you to be honest with them.
• Never buy a house without a fireplace.
• Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.
• Once in your life own a convertible.
• Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
• Ask for a raise when you feel you have earned it.
• If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
• Return al the things you borrow.
• Teach some kind of class.
• Be a student in some kind of class.
• Keep secrets.
• Take lots of snapshots.
• Never refuse homemade brownies.
• Don't postpone joy.
• Write "thank you" notes promptly.
• Avoid overexposure to the sun.
• Vote.
• Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts.
• Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
• Never mention being on a diet.
• Make the best of bad situations.
• Always accept an outstretched hand.
• Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.
• Admit your mistakes.
• Ask someone to pick up your mail and daily paper when you're out of town. Those are the first two things potential burglars look for.
• Use your wit to amuse, not abuse.
• Remember that all news is biased.
• Take a photography course.
• Let people pull in front of you when you're stopped in traffic.
• Support a high school band.
• Demand excellence and be willing to pay for it.
• Whistle.
• Hug children after you discipline them.
• Learn to make something beautiful with your hands.
• Give to charity all the clothes you haven't worn during the past three years.
• Never invest more in stock market than you can afford to lose.
• Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come ninety percent of all your happiness or misery.
• Make it a habit to do nice things for people who'll never find out.
• Never use profanity.
• Never argue with police officers and address them as "officer".
• Learn to identify local wildflowers, birds and trees.
• Keep fire extinguishers in your kitchen and car.
• Put a lot of little marshmallows in your hot chocolate.
• Learn CPR.
• Resist the temptation to buy a boat.
• Stop and read historical roadside markers.
• Know how to change a tire.
• Know how to tie a bow tie.
• Respect your children's privacy. Knock before entering their rooms.
• Wear audacious underwear under the most solemn business attire.
• Visit Washington, D.C., and do the tourist bit.
• When someone is relating an important event that's happened to them, don't try to top them with a story of your own. Let them have the stage.
• Don't buy cheap tools. Craftsman tools from Sears are among the best.
• When starting out, don't worry about not having enough money. Limited funds are a blessing, not a curse. Nothing encourages creative thinking in quite the same way.
• Give yourself an hour to cool off before responding to someone who has provoked you. If it involves something really important, give yourself overnight.
• When playing games with children, let them win.
• Turn off the television at dinner time.
• Learn to handle a pistol and rifle safely.
• Skip one meal a week and give what you would have spent to a street person.
• Pray not for things but for wisdom and courage.
• Be tough-minded but tender-hearted.
• Use seat belts.
• have regular medical and dental checkups.
• Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
• Take your dog to obedience school. You'll both learn a lot.
• Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.
• Don't waste time grieving over past mistakes. Learn from them and move on.
• Wave at children on school buses.
• Tape record your parents' memories of how they met and their first years of marriage.
• Show respect for others' time. Call whenever you're going to be more than ten minutes late for an appointment.
• Hire people smarter than you.
• Learn to show cheerfulness, even when you don't feel like it.
• Learn to show enthusiasm, even when you don't feel like it.
• Take good care of those you love.
• Don't spread yourself too thin. Learn to say "no" politely and quickly.
• Keep overhead low.
• Keep expectations high.
• Accept pain and disappointment as part of life.
• Remember that winners do what losers don't want to do.
• When you arrive at your job in the morning, let the first thing you say brighten everyone's day.
• Seek opportunity, not security. A boat in a harbour is safe, but in time its bottom will rot out.
• Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
• Pay attention to the details.
• Be a self-starter.
• Be loyal.
• Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
• Every once in a while take the scenic route.
• Don't let your possessions possess you.
• Wage war against littering.
• Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them "Someone who thinks you're terrific."
• Answer your phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
• Every person that you meet knows something you don't; learn something from them.
• Tape record your parents' laughter.
• Buy cars that have air bags.
• Don't undertip the waiter just because the food is bad; he didn't cook it.
• Change the car's oil and filter every three thousand miles regardless of what the owner's manual recommends.
• Conduct family fire drills. Be sure everyone knows what to do in case the house catches fire.
• Become someone's hero.
• Marry only for love.
• Count your blessings.
• Call your mother.